Inuyasha vs Barbie
by Mizuroze
Summary: This is a random story about how Inuyasha has to battle evil Barbie's. There are many twists and an author with a wierd sense of humor. So read my story and see if you laugh as much as the deranged author who wrote it did. So please r&r.
1. How It All Started

Inuyasha vs. Barbie

By: Mizuroze

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and I probably never will.

A.N. This is my first Inuyasha fic so please be nice and if you like Kagome, don't read this story, because I don't personally like her and I might offend you, so go ahead and read but don't be mad if I insulted you because I warned you.

Evil Barbie

"Inuyasha, sit!" Yelled Kagome. They were all standing by the well when Kagome came through with some new items she wanted to show to Miroku, Sango, Kilala, Shippo, and mostly Inuyasha.

"This is a quiet intriguing doll." Stated Miroku as he picked up a Barbie.

"That's a Barbie doll," replied Kagome, "little girls play with them, older girls collect them."

"That's nice," said Inuyasha.

"Can I play with it?" Asked Shippo.

"Sure, just be careful with it." Kagome replied.

"I think I saw it move!" Exclaimed Inuyasha.

"That was random," said Sango, "but I guess _you_ wouldn't know that dolls can't move, you've probably never seen one."

"She's right Inuyasha, dolls can't move, they aren't real." Miroku said.

"Inuyasha, she can't hurt you; she's made out of scrap materials, not flesh and blood. She's not mechanical either." Kagome said.

"Mechanical?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Never mind, the point is she can only move if someone is moving her."

"Ya, I'm so sure. I'm telling you I saw her move."

"Inuyasha, be reasonable. If you're scared of her just say so, instead of making up fake stories."

"I'm not lying, scared, or telling stories. I can't believe you Kagome, why would I be scared of a doll? It can't do any damage. Why won't you listen to me?"

"Inuyasha, how dare you, SIT!"

"Calm down Kagome, I'm sure there's a good reason for the way Inuyasha is acting. Isn't that right Inuyasha?" Stated Miroku.

"Oh, now you're on his side, you're an idiot Miroku!" Screamed Kagome as she slapped Miroku on the cheek.

"I'm not on anyone's side Kagome." Miroku replied as he stroked the hand mark on his face. "I'm just saying that it's possible, like why you hit me on the check."

"Fine, Inuyasha, why did you make up that ridiculous story?" Questioned Kagome.

"Why would I make up something that stupid?" Inuyasha said.

"Inuyasha, just tell us, it wouldn't hurt." Stated Shippo.

"Just get off my case. Kagome, wasn't there some other stuff you wanted to show us?" Inuyasha remarked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Here, this is a bottle of smelly lotion; this is a pencil sharpener; this is a bottle of perfume; this is cologne; this is a brush; this is shampoo and conditioner…" Kagome went on.

"We're going to be sitting here for hours." Shippo complained.

"I agree; I'm getting out of here." Inuyasha retorted. Kagome went on and on as Inuyasha slowly walked away. He hoped Shippo wouldn't say anything about him leaving because he didn't want to hurt Kagome's feelings. "She'll understand," he muttered to himself for comfort.

A while later, Inuyasha decided to go back and see if Kagome was finished talking, but out of no where, the bushes started moving.

"Who's there?" He yelled. He started searching and looking for what he had heard. When Inuyasha looked behind a bush for something he knew would be there. "It's Barbie." He picked her up and cautiously started heading back.

"Owwww! It bit me." Inuyasha dropped Barbie to look at his hand. "Not to bad, but it's still bleeding. I should go tell Kagome. But what should I do with this doll? Should I leave it here? Should I bring it with me? I'll leave it. Kagome might think I stole it and tried to rip it apart." Again Inuyasha heard the rustling noise and he quickly turned around. There was Barbie, standing up in front of him.

"Let's play, let's play, let's play." Barbie said.

"I don't have time you stupid doll!" Inuyasha replied.

"Then you will die, then you will die, then you will die." Repeated Barbie. She started running toward him, so he ran.

"What the hell!" Screamed Inuyasha.

"You're dead meat, you're dead meat, you're dead meat." Barbie repeated.

"Quit that!"

"Why, why, why?"

"It's annoying!"

"So, so, so?"

"Somebody help me!"

"Why, why, why?"

"Arrgghhh!"

"You're stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid."

"SHUT UP!"

"Is there a reason, is there a reason, is there a reason?"

"Just shut up you stupid little doll!"

"That's not nice, that's not nice, that's not nice."

"SO WHAT!"

"You're mean, you're mean, you're mean."

"That's your problem, does it matter?"

"Duh, duh, duh." All of a sudden Barbie pulled out a small plastic knife and jumped on Inuyasha, then started stabbing him with it.

"Oh, ow, get off you stupid doll." At that moment he grabbed Barbie and threw in head first into the freezing cold, black, lake. Then, he quickly, but cautiously, started heading back toward the well.

About 5 minutes later, he was back at the well, to be greeted by a very furious Kagome.

"INUYASHA! How dare you leave?" She cried. By some tall oaks were Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kilala were covered in a pile of Kagome's "goodies".

"Barbie was attacking me, she started stabbing me with a fake knife!" Yelled Inuyasha.

"Then where's Barbie?" Kagome questioned.

"I threw her in the lake."

"WHAT, she was a collectable."

(AN. someone was a little obsessed.)

"You can deal with it, it's pure evil, it bit me."

"She's not an it; let me see where she bit you." (a.n. Yeah really obsessed.) When Inuyasha showed his hand the bit wound was completely healed.

"So, where is it?"

"It already healed, I am a demon after all."

"What does that have to do with it?"

"Well, for one thing, demons cuts heal faster."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Oh, jeez, nice Kagome."

"Now you don't have proof that she bit you."

"Well, how can I prove it to you?"

"If we see Barbie trying to kill you, then we can believe it, but otherwise we know you're lying."

"Fine, I'll prove it to you." Something not recognizable all the sudden pulled Inuyasha behind the bushes. Then, Kagome and Shippo heard Inuyasha scream with a mechanical laugh right behind it.

"What was that?" Questioned Shippo.

"Who cares, he threw my Barbie in the lake." Cried Kagome.

When Miroku and Sango finally got out of the giant pile it was dark, and Kagome and Shippo had already set up camp.

"Where's Inuyasha?" Asked Sango.

"He flew into the bushes." Stated Shippo.

"WHAT!" Yelled Miroku and Sango.

"Something pulled him in about 4 hours ago. We haven't seen him since." Kagome remarked.

"Why aren't you looking for him?" Yelled Sango. "He could be injured."

"We were waiting for you." Stated Shippo. At that moment Inuyasha stumbled out of the brush and he had _Barbie_ stamped across his forehead.

"You waited for two unconscious people!" Yelled Inuyasha.

"Yeah, we didn't want to leave them here. I also didn't want to leave my stuff here unprotected, someone might steal it." Stated Kagome. (a.n. Yeah, like I said, obsessed.)

"Why couldn't Shippo watch your stuff?" Questioned Inuyasha.

"What if I needed help getting you back here? Shippo isn't strong enough, we would all be stuck." Kagome said.

"Oh, I never thought of that. Well, look what that doll did to me; she stamped her name across my forehead and ripped up my shirt with a needle. Your lucky that she didn't injure me." Inuyasha remarked.

"Please calm down Inuyasha, maybe we can find a way to fix this." Miroku said.

"Fine," Inuyasha replied. As he walked toward the camp, the earth fell out beneath him. "What the…" was all he could manage to say before he hit the water that was in the dark depths of the hole.

"Inuyasha!" Screamed Kagome. (a.n. Oh no Oo, she's obsessed with Inuyasha to, when will the madness end?)

"Someone help him!" Shouted Shippo. Before Kagome could dive in Barbie's head popped out of the water. Shippo cautiously picked the doll up and set it on the ground. At that moment the hole began to drain and Inuyasha's head came into view.

"That stupid doll, it tied me under water!" Yelled Inuyasha, after 15 minutes of being under the water.

"That explains why you didn't just pop back up to the surface." Sango stated.

"I say we should have an extra look at this Barbie to see if she has any clues on her, same with Inuyasha." Said Shippo.

"I'll look over the Barbie, Kagome, you can look over Inuyasha." Miroku remarked.

"Okay, hold still Inuyasha." Kagome replied. She and Miroku checked over Inuyasha and the Barbie, while Sango, Kilala, and Shippo kept a look out.

"I think I saw something move in the bushes." Shippo said. All of a sudden Bugs Bunny jumped put of the bushes and said, "What's up docs?"

"You're in the wrong place," yelled Kagome, "this is the wrong story!"

"Sorry docs, I got lost, can you show me how to get to Hollywood?" Bugs asked. As Kagome drew the map Miroku gave a yelp of pain.

"OWWWW! I think something bit me." He said as he looked down at his bleeding hand. Sure enough there was a bit mark that was the size of Barbie's mouth. Barbie jumped out of his hands and started to go after Inuyasha. As he got up to run Barbie grabbed him, picked him, and threw him into the lake, and then dove in herself.

"What the hell?" Yelled Sango.

"Nice try Inuyasha!" Yelled Kagome. "Get out of the lake now!" As the minutes passed the group started to get more and more worried.

"A sea monster is coming out of the lake!" Shouted Shippo.

"It might be Inuyasha." Stated Miroku.

"Go check it out Kilala." Whispered Sango. Slowly Kilala went over to the so-called sea creature. The figure petted Kilala and then slowly struggled on to her back. When Kilala arrived, everyone stood there and it was absolutely quiet. It was Barbie who was on Kilala's back, but she was human sized. Inuyasha was also on Kilala's back, but he was unconscious.

"Hello, I'm Barbie." She said. She shoved Inuyasha off Kilala and then slid of. Kagome and the others ran over to Inuyasha to make sure he wasn't harmed.

"Hey, Barbie, how did you…" Kagome started to say, then broke off when Barbie turned around. She was staring at them with blood red eyes.

"He should've never interfered!" Screamed Barbie. Inuyasha slowly sat up in a great state of confusion. Again, Barbie pulled out the plastic knife, pushed everyone out of the way, then stabbing Inuyasha with the knife.

"Oh, ow, I'm in a great deal of pain." Said Inuyasha in a sarcastic tone.

"We will get you yet Inuyasha." Hissed Barbie as she slowly disappeared.

"What the heck?" Shippo remarked.

"Meow." Said a voice.

"What was that?" Questioned Kagome in a frightened tone.

"I'm afraid it was Inuyasha." Said Miroku.

"I always thought you were a dog demon Inuyasha, that's what you told me." Kagome stated.

"I am, it's the curse of Barbie I tell you!" Screamed Inuyasha.

"I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation." Miroku replied.

"Why would I say meow? I hate cats?" Inuyasha yelled.

"Calm down, lets just forget about this." Sango said.

It was about midnight when Inuyasha stopped meowing and everyone got to sleep. About 2 hours after that Miroku awoke to a strange noise. He looked around at the darkness and realized Inuyasha was muttering something. He slowly walked closer as to not wake Inuyasha. Kagome got up to see too.

"What is it, Miroku?" She asked.

"Inuyasha is saying something, but I can't understand it, can you?" He replied.

"Oh my gosh, he's singing the meow mix song."

"Meow mix song?"

"It's a thing we advertise, meow mix, a cat food."

"How does he know it? Did he hear it when he went to your world Kagome?"

"No, maybe there is a curse of Barbie."

"Doubt it."

"Why?"

"She's a doll."

"But how did she get bigger?"

"Wait, she said 'We will get you…' earlier, what did she mean by that."

"Good point, maybe there's more."

"More what?"

"More Barbie's."

"True, we should get out of here then, Kagome, we may be in danger."

"In danger of what?" Questioned Sango.

"Barbie's, she said 'we' earlier, so there must be more Barbie's." Replied Miroku.

"Now it makes sense." Kagome remarked.

"More Barbie's?"

"We must wake the others."

"We'll tell you, as well as the others on the way to Kaede's. Just help us wake the others."

"Okay."

"We can ride Kilala, right?"

"Of course."

"Why wouldn't we be able to Miroku?"

"I just wanted to make sure it was okay with Sango."

"Okay, just hurry up and help me wake everyone else, come on Miroku, Sango." In a couple of minutes everyone was awake and ready to leave. They all got on Kilala and head toward the village.

"Look down, it's a herd of pink dots." Yelled Inuyasha.

"It must be an army of Barbie's." Miroku said.

"We better get out of sight so they can't follow us." Said Sango.

"Oh no, there's something on Kilala's leg." Shippo stated.

"What is it?" Asked Kagome.

"Not sure." Replied Shippo, as they landed in the forest to try and find out what it was that was on Kilala's leg.

A.n So, what do you think, please R&R, I would really appreciate it. :3


	2. The Rules of the Game

Inuyasha vs. Barbie

Chapter 2

By: Mizuroze

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Barbie so deal with it.

A.N. Hello, I'd say sorry for taking so long on the next chapter, but no one has even read my story yet so I can't really mean it. Also, I know some of you really like Kagome and all but I don't really care for her, so I may make fun of her a bit, so please deal with it and you shouldn't have even read the first chapter cause I think I mentioned it then to, but oh well, on to the story.

They finally got on the ground after reaching the other side of the lake. Everyone was worried about whatever was on Kilala's leg, so they got ready to attack and went around to find whatever it was.

"What is it?" asked Shippo, who was hiding on Kilala's head.

"Ummm…I'm not so sure," stated Miroku.

"I think it's a…" said Inuyasha right before he disappeared.

"What the hell happened?" Question Miroku, looking around for Inuyasha. To everyone's surprise, a Barbie jumped of the back of Kilala's leg.

"We have him," she yelled.

"Oh no!" yelled Kagome. She ran and pounced on the Barbie, who laughing very evilly, but in the process, her skirt flew up and revealed lacy underwear underneath.

"Wow, I thought her skirt was magic," said Sango.

"Where'd the magic go?" cried Miroku. (a.n. My friends and I came up with this, cause if you watch closely, Kagome's skirt never flies up, even when she's falling or sliding down a hill, so we're calling it her magic skirt. )

"GAH!!" yelled Kagome.

"HAHAHAHA!!" yelled Barbie. "Now you'll never get him back." As she turned around to run away, she ran into someone, someone tall.

"Give him to me," said the mysterious voice.

"Why should I?" Barbie replied.

"Cause if you don't I will kill you," the voice responded.

"Okay, okay, but you'll have to play a little game," Barbie said.

"Fine give me the rules," the voice stated.

"First, he's in the forest area right here. Second, you have to find three items to find him. Third, you have to be in a party. Fourth, no leaving the party. And fifth, you've got to find him in the next 24 hours or he's ours," Barbie decided.

"Fine," said Miroku, "but we're coming along."

"Agreed, but who are you?" Kagome asked. The stranger just stared at her and stepped a little closer.

"Sesshomaru," gasped Shippo.

"Why are you here?" asked Sango.

"I saw all the dolls and new it was Inuyasha's fault and new he needed help. I didn't want to, but Rin talked me into it," Sesshomaru answered.

"Fine, I guess we do need your help right now," Miroku stated. They all turned around and starting walking into the deep foliage in hopes of finding the missing Inuyasha. The only one who didn't really care was Sesshomaru, but he felt he needed to deal with his little brothers mess.

"What do you think the three items will look like?" Shippo asked a little while later.

"What do you mean?" questioned Kagome.

"Well, Barbie gave us the five rules, and the second one was that we had to find three items to find him." Shippo replied.

"Oh, that's right," Sango exclaimed, "I wasn't really listening, I was to worried about Inuyasha."

"Don't worry guys, I was thinking ahead and wrote down all five rules on a scroll." Miroku stated.

"That was a good idea. Thanks Miroku," said Kagome.

"Anyone would've thought of it," Sesshomaru muttered.

An hour later, after running around the forest not knowing were to go, our friends came across a rock in the middle of their path.

"Oh man, another dead end," cried Shippo.

"I don't think so," Sango whispered as Kilala growled. "I think it's breathing."

"How can a rock breathe?" Asked Kagome.

"When it's not a rock," Miroku answered. The rock gently moved a little to the side, and then started snoring.

"I think it's a golem," Sango said.

"I would agree, but what do we do? This is the first creature we've seen, so we must be on the right path, but how do we move it?" asked Miroku.

"We have to wake it up," Kagome said.

"It's not that easy," said Sesshomaru, "if you wake a golem from it's slumber, it will be in a very bad mood." Even as Sesshomaru said this Kagome walked over to the golem and started probing it in the back with a stick.

"Hello mister golem, are you in there?" She asked.

"_Grrrr…_" the golem answered. He slowly turned over and sat up. "_Who dares_ _disturb my slumber_?"

"She's done it now." Miroku said.

"We need to know if you've seen a rare item." Shippo said.

"_Hahahahahaha!_" laughed the golem. "_I have what looking for, but you have to solve this riddle to get it._"

"Tell us the riddle." Sesshomaru demanded.

"_Hmm…confidence, I like you kid. Here is your riddle._" Said the golem while Sesshomaru silently sizzled over being called a kid. "_The following sentence is false. The preceding sentence is true. Are these sentences true or false?_"

"What?!" Miroku exclaimed.

"How are we supposed to know the answer to that?" Kagome asked.

"My head hurts." Stated Sango. Sesshomaru said nothing.

"Jeez guys, the answer is simple." Shippo said.

"What?!" Everyone else exclaimed.

"_Then tell us your answer child._" The golem said.

"The answer is neither. If the first is true, then the second must be false, which makes the first false. See." Shippo said. Everyone remained silent.

"_How did you know?_" the golem asked.

"It was easy to figure out, do you guys really mean you didn't know." Shippo replied. Everybody just glared at him. "Sorry."

The party left and started down the path that was behind the golem, which was only possible after he moved and gave them the item. But what will turn up next on the winding path before them, who knows. Nobody but me.

A.N. Hello, I don't think this chapter was all that funny, and I hope it's long enough. Well please R&R, and if you have any ideas that could help make it even funnier, please tell me.


	3. A Short Chapter

Inuyasha vs. Barbie

By: Mizuroze

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Why must I do this every chapter, do you folks really need it? The only thing I own with this story is the plot and some characters I may introduce, 'kay?

A.N. You better review this frickin' story or I won't write anymore. JK.

They continued down the dreary road, when Sesshomaru stopped abruptly.

"What is it Lord Sesshomaru?" Jaken asked.

"There is a scent I don't recognize." He responded.

"Oops, sorry." Kagome said.

"That's disgusting," Miroku replied.

"NO! That wasn't what I smelled." Sesshomaru exclaimed.

"Jeez, don't lose your temper," Shippo said. As Shippo talked, a person arrived in the shadows. They were tall and had some short of strange ears.

"Show yourself!" Sango yelled as Kilala growled. The figure stepped out of the shadows. He had cat ears, silver hair, yellow eyes, and a ratty outfit.

"I am the tour guide of this playing ground," he said with a solemn face, "you may call me Soren."

"You're a tour guide? Why would they give us a tour guide?" Kagome asked.

"Don't ask me, I don't know what's going on in a dolls head!" Soren responded with a bit of anger, okay, a lot of anger.

"Jeez, don't bust a bubble," Shippo said, "plus, you're the one working for the Barbie's."

"No, I was forced into it with a spell," Soren replied.

"Wow, that sucks, now lets get going." Kagome said very rudely.

"Do you want a tour guide or not?!" Soren said, getting in even more of a bad mood.

"Yes, we do, she's just an idiot." Sesshomaru responded.

"Okay, follow me." Soren stated. They all followed him, with solemn faces, one group hating the other.

As they got further the cat boy stopped and said, "Around the corner is your next challenge, do you all wish to go on?"

"Yes," they all responded, and Sesshomaru twitched.

"Good," Soren answered and led them around the corner. There lay a giant creature of some sort, just snoring away.

"He will give you your next task." Soren stated.

"How do we wake him?" Miroku asked.

"I cannot tell you that." Soren responded.

"Great," Sango replied.

"Maybe we can just poke it." Kagome said.

"Or just stab it," Sesshomaru stated.

"Maybe magic." Miroku added.

"Or food." Sango tried.

"What about asking it nicely." Shippo concluded. They all tried the methods they came up with, but to no avail.

"I have no clue." Kagome said. They all plopped down on the overgrown little trail, and started to think.

"Hmmm…what if we give him a challenge to solve?" Rin cried.

"Try it." Sesshomaru responded.

"Umm…okay." She said. "How 'bout a riddle?"

"Go ahead." Miroku sighed.

"Um…okay, hey mister, two convicts are locked in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape. They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up with the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell. What is his plan?" Rin exclaimed. Everyone just gapped at her, then waited for the result. The giant monster twitched and scratched his head. He flipped over, and stared at the girl with five puzzled eyes.

"I see no answer," the beast replied.

"The answer is, his plan is to dig the tunnel and pile up the dirt to climb up to the window to escape." Rin smiled.

"Oh, I see. Very entertaining, I will give you the item and let you pass." He said. But as soon as he said this, the ground started to shake ferociously, and it cracked open behind the monster. Bright red and orange fire shot out of the deep abyss.

"What, this isn't supposed to happen!" Soren said.

"What do we do?" Kagome yelled, in hysterics.

"You must find another path around." A loud female voice boomed.

"But there is no other path!" Yelled Soren.

"There is another," the voice said, "but you must find it."

"I hate my life." Soren croaked.

"So do I," they heard Inuyasha scream from a distance. Soren hit his forehead with his hand and looked around for another way out.

"Wow, that's never happened before." The beast said. "Well, here's your item, take care of it." He then got up and a giant cloud of smoke appeared. As the smoke started to clear, you could still see the beast.

"Blecch!" He coughed. "Oh my, this is embarrassing," he then turned around and ran right into the ditch. "I meant to do that." They all looked at each other and sighed.

"I guess we gotta find another way around." Miroku sighed.

"Not exactly. We still have Kilala, she can fly us over." Sango stated.

"Oh," Kagome said, "I forgot."

"I'll just jump over," said Soren. He then stretched out and jumped over the large crevice. Everyone else pilled on Kilala and they flew over the pit. They quickly got to the other side and continued merrily on their way, except Soren, who is currently very emo.

a.n. Sorry it was short, but I couldn't think of much to do, plus, I'm just a lazy ass, so please ignore that. Anyway, please R and R.


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